Global Domination

Revengine: The Absence

17/08/11  ||  sly

Revengine? Like an engine that seeks revenge? Maybe. It’s obviously some sort of terrible portmanteau, but I’m not really sure what’s going on. All I can hear is fucking stupid suicide metal from Finland and I don’t know whether to laugh or cringe; I find myself doing both. What I can say is that when any band reminds me even an iota of Incubus, and these guys remind me a lot of them, it makes me want to eat spaghetti and shit-balls drenched in a warm menstrual sauce, vomit it all into a cardboard box, and mail it to the band in question. Watch out, Revengine, I might actually do it. The riffs are stupid, the lyrics are stupid, the moniker is stupid, and clearly no one ever had the balls to tell “vocalist” Antti Jokiranta that he fucken sucks. So here I am to tell you man, YOU FUCKEN SUCK!!!

I do, however, look forward to seeing a link of this review on the list on your website. It’s only fair to warn people before they waste their hard-earned bucks on your shit music.

1/10: The Absence. Of anything good. Whatsoever.

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